rest for the weary?

Our Tax Credits have at last come through, and tomorrow we're off for a week's holiday in a cottage near Pocklington (half an hour from York). We'll be able to visit both York - where I was at university - and the sea - which Simon has only ever seen from the deck of a ferry! I'm not sure we'll be doing much paddling at this time of year, or if so only with wellies on!

I read recently that once you have kids, holidays are just childcare in a different place (!), but I think a change will be as good as a rest, and I am looking forward to showing Marc around York. We're also going to be able to see some friends and go back to the church I went to when I was a student (see here).

de-coding

A couple of days ago at the evening meal, my mum said to Marc, trying to be discreet, "There's something lurking behind the fruit bowl."

And Simon said, matter-of-factly as if to help out his papa, "Cake."

There's no hiding anything any more!

packing

We have just received a packing list from SIM Benin-Togo. It isn’t a list of things we are obliged to bring, but will give us an idea of what is and isn’t available over there. Some things we already knew we needed to take, for example:

- Cotton clothing

- Strong sunscreen (I guess the Beninese don’t need it as much as us!)

- First-aid supplies (though the basics are available there) and personal prescription medicines

- Contact lens solution

- Extra passport photos

- Bed linen (not cheap over there)

- Computers and equipment

There are also some things I never would have thought of taking, such as:

- Oven thermometer

- Knife sharpener

There are also things which I had thought about but which require a certain amount of thought, like:

- Gifts for Christmas and birthdays for the entire term (2 Christmasses and 8 birthdays!)

We are also advised to take our own decorations, photos, pictures, as we’re told that “these make your new home YOUR home”.

We also have to think about books, CDs and DVDs for ourselves and the boys, and of course we have big decisions to make about which toys to take! I’ve decided that one quick way to rule out a lot of toys is to exclude anything that needs batteries. Not that you can’t get batteries over there, but it will make things simpler!

The list was obviously written by Americans. Or at least I hope so, since it states that it is inappropriate for women to wear pants :o) :o) :o)

normal?

I remarked to a friend recently that at the moment our life is the most “normal” it has been for a while or will be for a long time. I realise, of course, that normality is a socially-determined cultural construct (to be technical!) but here I’m talking about “normal” to me as the English woman I am, with the particular upbringing I have had.

So what is this “normal” I’m talking about? At the moment we’re living in England, going regularly to a church and members of a (lovely!) homegroup. The dad of our family is (occasionally) going out to work and the mum is looking after the kids and taking them to mums-and-toddlers groups and going on playdates. The not-so-normal is of course that we are living with the grandparents and don’t actually have a steady income. And as soon as anyone asks the question, “So what do you do?” I am reminded that we are a bit different! Though to be fair, when most people hear that we’re moving out to West Africa they think it’s very exciting!

Today we had a trip back to college (allnations) where we studied last year, and found that being “normal” there was more about being in transition, waiting to go overseas and not being exactly sure of all the details! Nice to feel just like everyone else for a change! And apart from that, it was uplifting to see old friends again and to be greeted by hundreds of smiling daffodils as we drove through the woods around the grounds.

hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work he goes...

With the current economic climate, job-seeking isn’t easy, and we weren’t particularly surprised when Marc found it hard to find work. Fortunately we still have some savings left, and we have been using them to contribute to household bills and expenses at my parents’. We have also been able to claim Child Tax Credits, which took a long time to be processed, but were paid into our bank account this week.

However, Marc had signed up to a recruitment agency and a supply teaching agency, and tomorrow he (at last!) has his first day of work. It’s in a Middle School, this being one of the last regions in the country where middle schools still exist. They teach children from 9 to 14 years old (I think!) and he is doing general supply work, so not necessarily his own subject, Science. He’s a bit nervous about it, so if anyone sees this before tomorrow, please do say a prayer for him! You can think of Simon too, who isn’t used to his dad disappearing off to work in the morning – it’s been a long time since that was the case!

from here to paternity...

On one parenting website you can read a blog written by a new father. Usually it's very funny, this week's was quite thoughtful. My favourite quote about new parents was the following:

"We know the frustrations and guilt of trying to do what you're SUPPOSED to do and doing the opposite because that is the only thing that works." Oh so true!!

I also feel the same way as him about the bond to your own child being felt in your gut, not your head.

The rest of the blog post can be found here.